It's Always Sunny in Citizens Bank Park

Why do the damn Phillies keep winning! I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them!

Worst Day of Sports and Athletics Ever

1: Nadal lost to Andy Murray. I have nothing against Murray. Let me just say that. But I love Nadal. He is good, he is great, he signs lots of autographs while other players stalk away cranky. I have seen it with my own eyes. I wanted him to win today. Really, really wanted him to win. But he lost.

2. The Mets lost their first game against the Phillies. This is terrible because the Mets and Phillies are close, close, close in the pennant race. And after this loss, the Mets are only 1 game ahead. They are currently winning the second game of today’s double header, and they’d better win it. Getting swept by the Phillies is just…just…bleck.

3. I got a flat. Guess where I got the flat? On Damen. Where else? I hate Damen. The other day, going home after The Parlor, I hit a bump on Damen so big my bike lock flew out of its holder and bounced down the street. The lock was ok, but the clasp on the holder will never be the same. Now I have to use a bungee cord. So of course it was Damen that got me again. Here’s what happened:

Mile 1.19: Tire (to be specific, it’s the back tire—lucky me) goes flat at Damen & Fullerton, just before the bridge, with a mere 3 of the 4.15 miles to go. There had been a bus just in front of me, and I couldn’t catch it. Bugger. Walked the bike over the bridge, and up to Diversey/Elston. Considered jogging with the bike to speed up the trip but then saw

Mile 1.71: a gas station. Got some change to use the air pump, and pumped that sucker up firm. Pedaled like a mother fucker, trying to get as far as I could before it was flat again. I squeezed the tire at each stop sign and red light, and it was starting to get a little soggy, but I made it to

Mile 3.2: Irving Park/Lincoln/Damen, which was the goal. Because just a block and a half up from that intersection is

Mile 3.39: the Easy Rider Bike Shop, who have an air hose that comes out of the base of their storefront, with free air. Pumped that sucker up again, and made it to

Mile 4.15: home. Don’t know when I’ll have time to fix it. Damn you Damen!

On the plus side, Delgado just hit his second home run, giving the Mets a 5-2 lead.

I Spoke Too Soon

I thought the Mets were back on the winning road. But perhaps not.

Whew

The Mets are winning a little again. Thank goodness.

Rocket

On Thursday night Roger Clemens had a shot to win his 350^th game. But he and the Yankees lost to the Rockies.

I don’t really care. It’s just a good excuse to comment on what a moron Roger Clemens is. I submit as evidence his assertion that he thought the broken bat he threw at Mike Piazza was the ball. Yes, that’s right, he thought a foot-long piece of jagged wood was a three inch leather ball. That makes him either an idiot or an asshole.

I suspect he’s both.

Poop

Four games in a row? What's the problem Mets?

How Many Errors Does it Take for the Pitcher to Punch the Catcher?

Two. But the official scorer was generous.

I decided last minute to go to Friday's Cubs' game, against the hated, despicable, southern, Braves, hopefully to see the Mets' biggest rival get walloped. Instead the Cubs' SS Theriot lost the second pitch of the game in the sun and stood helpless as the ball fell next to him. It wasn't scored an error. Don't ask me why. The sun is a normal part of baseball. Balls have gotten lost in the glare since balls were invented. It was an error. He had it, he called the other fielders off, then shrugged his shoulders.

Theriot had another non-error when he dropped a relay throw from the outfield. It didn't cost anything, but it sure made him look like an goat who belongs in AAA. Or AA. Or plain old A. Or working as a bank teller.

Another non-error was Ramirez's bobbled grounder that reduced an easy double play to a simple out a first.

Then of course, there were the two fuckups that actually got scored as errors: Murton losing a ball in the sun and letting it drop right next to him, and the catcher Barret allowing a passed-ball, letting a runner try for to third. How did Barret react? He sailed the ball into the outfield, letting in a run.

I was on the third base side so I couldn't see into the Cubs' dugout, and had to find out about the dustup later. I wanted the Braves to get walloped, but it was Barret who got it. Zambrano punched him right in the mouth, split his lip. Ha! He deserved it.

All I want to know is, why didn't he hit Theriot, Murton, and Ramirez too?

What a bunch of fuckups.

Ooo wait! Soriano gunned a guy down at the plate with a perfect one-hop throw from deep left. It was thrilling. And pretty much the only thing worth the ticket price.